Communications and Conflict Resolution
How do you communicate with each other? Everyone has conflict so the question is how do you resolve your conflicts? Arguing and anger can be part of a successful relationship.
Even a pattern of advance and withdrawal can be part of a successful relationship. What matters most is how couples communicate with each other, how they repair their relationship after a conflict and whether they ever resolve issues that cause conflict. It is important to assess and understand patterns of communication and conflict. What causes a fight, how does it start, what happens during the fight and how does the fight end. Then, it is important to develop goals and strategies for change so that you can more successfully communicate with each other and resolve your conflicts ….or accept that there are certain conflicts you are never going to resolve.
Relationship issues can take many forms. Perhaps you are having problems meeting and developing relationships. You just don’t seem to be able to meet anyone with whom to have a relationship and you feel lonely or frustrated or sad. Or, you are in a relationship that just isn’t working. Perhaps you have been in several relationships that didn’t work out and you want to find out why and make some changes. It is possible to explore the themes, communication patterns and behavior that make having a relationship difficult. Or, to explore the patterns and choices so that you can make better choices in the future.
If you are couple, marriage and relationship counseling helps couples — married or not — recognize and resolve conflicts and improve their relationship. Based on the guidance, direction, strategies, and support you receive, you can make changes that can result in an improved more fulfilling relationship. Counseling can help you understand the underlying issues, how to better communicate, and how to move forward positively creating a more satisfying relationship.
Most couples face issues where couples counseling can really make a difference.
- Do you fight too much and issues just never seem to never really get resolved?
- Are you frustrated by what seems like behaviors that are not loving or too demanding?
- Do you feel like you are drifting apart and just not connecting?
- Do you feel misunderstood, not heard or do you wonder if he or she is really listening?
- Do you feel that he or she doesn’t really love you?
- Do you need to talk with someone to get an unbiased opinion?
- Has it been too long since you were intimate?
- You think your partner is cheating–or you know for sure…now what?
- Are you fighting over the children and parenting issues?
- Are you just plain wondering if your relationship or marriage is working?
Many times couples need help getting back on track in their relationship. Sometimes, they have gotten into patterns of talking, arguing or behavior that just doesn’t work. Sometimes they feel they are no longer getting their needs met.
Whatever the issues, in a safe and objective environment, couples can come to better understand each other, learn new strategies for communicating and even arguing, and allow themselves to be honest with each other. Couples can get back in touch with what is important to them and their partner and learn how to have a fulfilling relationship.
On the other hand, if you are considering separation or divorce, we can explore such questions as the ones below so that you can develop more clarity, explore options, and make decisions:
- Should you or shouldn’t you?
- What do you really want?
- Can the marriage work?
Many couples experience issues having to do with their sexual relationship. Perhaps you haven’t made love in a long time. Perhaps the desire or attraction doesn’t seem to be there anymore. Perhaps there are physical or emotional issues in the way of having an intimate relationship. A healthy relationship includes intimate or sensual contact with each other. So, if that level of contact has stopped it is important to explore why and what you can do to get back in “touch” with your partner.
Most marriages do not end because one partner has been unfaithful. Surprising as that might seem, studies show that other factors end relationships much more often than infidelity. Infidelity can be extremely painful to go through as a couple. The individual who feels hurt and wounded by their partner must deal with difficult feelings and it is hard to forgive and trust again. The individual who has cheated but really does want to stay in the marriage must deal with feelings of guilt and lack of self worth. Sometimes it just looks like anger, blame and hurt. However, couples can and do recover from infidelity! It take commitment and work, and can be a long process but it is possible. It is helpful during this period not to make immediate decisions to end the marriage. It is helpful to work with a professional to sort it all out so each individual and you, as a couple, can make the most insightful choices and decisions based on what you really want.
Infertility and Adoption
Having personally experienced these issues, I understand the impact that having problems conceiving or carrying a baby to term can have on you and on your relationship. When you have the desire to start a family and there are barriers to having a child that goal of having a child can take over your life and your relationship. There are many choices to be made and it can be a difficult journey emotionally. First there is assessing and determining the cause of the problem. Then there is figuring out and deciding whether you will take further medical actions necessary if you want to proceed and how aggressive medically you want to be. Then there are the financial implications. And, the impact on the relationship.
You may need individual counseling or couples counseling during this process. I put infertility and adoption together because sometimes a couple is considering IVF or adoption. I have successfully done both in my life and have coached and counseled couples during both processes.
Parenting can be challenging during many stages of a child’s development. You could find yourself having difficulties with parenting when you have an infant and you, as a couple, may need to work through how you will handle responsibilities or getting the child to sleep through the night. You could have issues relating to how to get your child to study or do chores around the house. You and your spouse may disagree over discipline or one may be strict and the other lenient. The teenage years can be trying and you may want to speak to a professional or even have a family counseling session if things feel out of control. You could be a separated or divorced couple and you are just not on the same page regarding crucial issues relating to raising your child or children. Perhaps you are a single parent and you need some help making important choices that could impact your child.
Please call or contact me to make an appointment.
My specialties include:
Relationship Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Conflict Resolution,Communications, Marital and Relationship Counseling, Pre-During-Post Divorce Counseling, Career Counseling, Life Transitions, Individual Counseling, Social Skills, Social Anxiety, Executive Coaching, Professional Resume Development, Job Search/Interviewing Strategies, Parenting Counseling,Parenting Issues, Parenting Coaching,
Therapist in Boca Raton serving Broward and Palm Beach counties including Boca Raton, Deerfield Beach, Coconut Creek, Delray Beach and Boynton Beach.