As a certified divorce counselor and licensed therapist I can help you before you make decisions related to getting a divorce, during the divorce process, and post divorce as you move forward in your life. While many couples resolve their issues, some couples decide to get a separation or a divorce, which can be painful, stressful and debilitating for everyone involved. Once you know you are going forward with a separation or divorce, you need to carefully think through how you are going to move forward.
All separating or divorcing couples need to know:
- How to make insightful choices about future actions: divorce litigated in court, a collaborative divorce or mediation
- How to communicate with your partner during the divorce and after–especially if you have children
- Effective strategies and tools for dealing with the all the difficulties throughout the process
- How to deal more effectively with your emotions
- How to save money you would otherwise use talking to your attorney about emotional issues that are really outside of their expertise
- How to think through how to deal with financial, work and children issues
- When you’re ready, how to create a new life that brings you joy
Before-During-and “Life after Divorce” Coaching in Boca Raton, Florida
I offer coaching, guidance, information, situational assessment as well as emotional and practical support during these difficult times.
Most people in this situation are feeling angry, depressed, sad, paralyzed, or scared. There could be financial issues, work related issues, children issues combined with knowing that the divorce process is stressful and difficult and can take a long time. Not only can the divorce process last a long time, but if you have children, then the relationship with your spouse or soon to be ex-spouse will be ongoing. There are important decisions to be made that can have a long lasting impact.
PRE-DIVORCE–Before making a decision or seeing an attorney
If you have chosen to move forward to pursue a divorce, you need to choose the best option for getting a divorce based on your family situation, your relationship and the financial implications. Divorce coaching can help you make the right decisions.There are many options to consider and it is important that you make practical, informed decisions since the decisions you make now will have long-lasting effects. I understand the choices and the implications.
- Gain clarity about whether you really want to pursue a divorce; how you want the divorce to “look”; explore your major concerns and issues, both practical and emotional. Emotions can get in the way of sound decision-making—and, you need to make difficult yet sound decisions during this process.
- Engage in a personal assessment of your unique situation. Should you use a traditional divorce attorney/litigator, a “collaborative law attorney” or a mediator? The wrong decision can cost you in time and money, as well as emotional distress.
- On-going counseling and support to work through emotional and practical issues and get help with practical needs.
You Have Options
The choices a divorcing couple make in the beginning of the divorce process impacts not only how the divorce turns out but the kind of relationship they have later and the impact on children.
Which option, mediation, collaborative legal process, or traditional litigation is “right” for you and your spouse? Don’t just jump into the process. Think it through.
Traditional Divorce Attorneys
This is the most common approach and the parties are called from the outset “opposing parties”. The attorneys talk to each other and you and your spouse usually don’t communicate directly with each other. The court system is supposed to be the ultimate determinant of the outcome. However, most cases are actually settled on the “courtroom steps” or at the last minute because the judge has told all parties to go into a room and hash it out until there is a settlement. Also note that many divorce attorneys also can provide collaborative law or mediation services.
Remember, the more the “client” talks to the attorney about emotional matters that the attorney may be ill equipped to really address, the higher the bills. If a couple can’t even talk to each other because of the anger and complexities inherent in the divorce, then this traditional route may be best. The divorce process would take less time if the anger, anxiety and fear could be reduced by taking those emotions to a therapist as opposed to the attorney.
Therefore, even if you choose (or are currently in) divorce litigation, I can help you deal with the feelings and non-legal issues you are experiencing. You will be talking to a therapist and coach about those issues, not your attorney, helping you feel better during the process and saving you money.
Collaborative Law Divorce Process
The basic belief shared by all parties concerned is that it is in the best interest of everyone involved if differences could be resolved and decisions could be reached with as little conflict as possible and without going to court. In the collaborative law process, each party has an attorney and, quite often, there is a divorce counselor and sometimes a financial professional involved, as well. The collaborative process sets a positive tone and this type of “respectful” process can reduce unnecessary and destructive conflict. The goal is to reach a settlement satisfactory to all parties.
If negotiations were to break down and a law suit is filed, both parties would need to hire new attorneys since the current attorneys ethically are bound to not participate with the clients in a litigated case. While this process often helps the couple develop improved communication with each other and reduces conflict, this process can sometimes be almost as costly as the litigated process.
The mediator meets with the couple either alone or with a divorce counselor and tries to mediate a divorce agreement. The mediator is a trained, certified professional (attorney, counselor, certified mediator). In this process, the couple must be able to talk with each other and represent each of their own interests effectively. If the couple can get to the end of the mediation process with an agreement, it is then recommended by the mediator that they take their agreement to their own attorney to be reviewed. That attorney reviews the document and makes recommendations to the client. Hopefully, this attorney doesn’t tell the client that the agreement is ridiculous and there needs to be lots of changes. That could be problematic if the couple ends up in an “adversarial” mode. Mediation is typically much less costly than the traditional or collaborative process.
COACHING/COUNSELING —DURING THE DIVORCE PROCESS
The role of your coach vs. your legal counsel during a divorce
Working with me can save you time, money and unnecessary stress. A good amount of the money spent on your attorney is spent calling him/her to talk about “what your spouse had just done” or other emotional details. It’s easy to understand since your attorney knows your situation. However, you are using your attorney to deal with emotional issues which is not the purpose the attorney is meant to serve.
By seeing a divorce counselor who understands the process, you’ll have someone on your side that can listen, understand, and provide emotional and practical support and along the way, save you money. Instead of spending $350 (minimum) per hour with your attorney, you can spend much less talking to your coach/counselor.
LIFE AFTER DIVORCE COUNSELING
You can get support and help taking the next steps to get on your feet and create your new life. You may find you want support with issues relating to friends, social life, career, or other aspects of your emotional life. Whether you feel exhiliarated and free or depressed or anxious, a therapist can help you work through the emotional, behavioral and practical issues relating to your moving forward in your life.
My specialties include:
Marital and Relationship Counseling, Pre-During-Post Divorce Counseling, Executive Career Coaching, Life Transitions, Individual Counseling, Social Skills, Social Anxiety, Conflict Resolution,Communications, Career Counseling, Relationship Counseling, Parenting Counseling,Parenting Issues, Parenting Coaching
Therapist in Boca Raton serving Broward and Palm Beach counties including Boca Raton, Deerfield Beach, Coconut Creek, Delray Beach and Boynton Beach.